


Peter's Anxiety Plan

by Slothbeans



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Gen, Hurt Peter Parker, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Beta Read, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Peter Parker has ADHD, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:21:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25235353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slothbeans/pseuds/Slothbeans
Summary: 1. Don't let the adults know. They have enough going on.2. Spend more time with my friends?3. Try not to overthink things.4. Remember I'm stronger than the shadows that lurk in the dark.
Relationships: Michelle Jones & Peter Parker, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 4
Kudos: 115
Collections: The Friendly Neighborhood Exchange





	Peter's Anxiety Plan

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Emily_F6](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emily_F6/gifts).



Things become difficult after the blip.

The world changes for the worst. There's a lot of broken systems - cracks where people fall through due to the trauma they've suffered over the last five difficult years. Not from the sudden overpopulation, but from lack of government care because they were dealing with a worldwide crisis. There were more important things to worry about: the loss of life, positions of government suddenly becoming empty, food shortages worldwide, sudden workplaces thrown into disarray. They didn't have time to focus on a plan if it was to ever be reversed.

The return of this life sends wrinkles through the world's population. Innocent people displaced from their homes because they couldn't pay rent while they didn't exist. Whole neighborhoods are abandoned and become unlivable without the population needed to support the local economy. Skyrocketing food prices with no jobs to earn money - which is even more impossible because of the high number of missing identification cards.

The Parkers don't struggle as much as the general population. They're very lucky to have someone on their side that loves them very much. People that were hopeful and prepared for their return. The Starks make sure everything is ready in the slight chance that they are brought back into existence. Belongings are packed into storage, identification is stored in a lockbox at the Stark's cabin, and funds are prepared for them to restart their life.

May refuses to take anything more than absolutely necessary from Tony's safety fund. The millions of dollars that were put away for them - _penny change for the multi-billionaire_ \- feels like too much for the small family to accept. Instead, May and Pepper dedicate the funds into a charity for the less fortunate. A relief fund for people displaced from the blip to get them back on their feet through identification replacements, food banks, temporary housing, and childcare. Something May takes pride in leading.

Everything should be good in Peter's life now. He's one of the lucky ones. Not only does he have financial security and a place to live, but he hasn't lost any family members in the process. Everyone he loves - May, Happy, Pepper, Tony, Ned, MJ - has somehow managed to make it back without any harm. Things were touch and go with Tony for a while, but besides a prosthetic arm, he's even somehow managed to survive the impossible.

Peter is surviving. He should be happy and thankful for the chances he's been given in life. Everything should be returning to normal with school returning in the Fall. He should be all better now.

So then why does he feel so fearful all the time?

* * *

Peter Parker was always a little bit of a spaz. It's something that's been whispered since his early school days by bullies and teachers alike. Never in a bullying way, though, the comments do have a strange way of digging into the deep caverns of his heart and never letting go. 

No. Not in an intentionally mean way. It's just often used to describe the way his brain is wired. He forgets things more often than everyone else. So much so that it becomes a problem: lost backpacks, forgotten permission slips, unfinished homework assignments. These things pile up over time.

As he grows into a young adult, these habits become better managed, but there's no denying the existence of these shortcomings. They just evolve into different difficulties. He misses a lot of events because he can't seem to remember they're happening, plans with friends that are thrown out the window because something else is on his mind. It's not like he means to leave anyone hanging, but it's pretty understood in his social group that he can be flaky, unable to remember the plans unless reminded constantly. It's just who he is.

But it becomes worse after the blip. Not only does he have issues remembering things, but there's a constant buzzing in the back of his mind - a sort of worry that he can't ignore. He knows that the world's a much safer place now. That the alien dogs that once threatened his life are snapped away. But something in his heart can't accept that fact, screaming _danger danger_ whenever the slightest noise thumps in the night.

He knows the fear is wrong. There's no danger to him. He has superpowers. There could be some minimal danger to the people around him, but nothing he can't protect them from as Spider-Man. That's why he spends most of his days patrolling the streets where the people need him. 

_He would be lying if he said it wasn't an escape for him, as well. The mask provides him a much-needed barrier from the crumbling cityscape, the thin layer of spandex putting a wall between him and his anxieties._

But he can't patrol all the time. Not when he has friends that he's recently reunited with, ones that really want to hang out with him and see him alive. It would be selfish of him to hide away under his mask all day.

He's also got a family that needs him, too. People wanting to see him at night, making sure he gets enough nutrition with how often he skips meals. They need to see him well.

When May calls him for dinner that night, he asks Karen to ignore the ringing. He can wait another few minutes without arousing any suspicions. He just needs some quiet time as his heart continues to beat in his chest. He can't worry May with all that's going on, so he waits until he's somewhat calm before swinging home for dinner.

* * *

Peter's trying. He's really trying to get past this.

He googles his symptoms in his bed one night when he's feeling especially down. He would ask Karen, but he's still kind of embarrassed of his irrational fears and he doesn't want Mr. Stark to know what's going on. He doesn't want any of the adults in his life to worry. Not when there's still a chance Peter could solve this all for himself without bothering his friends and family.

"Anxiety. It's just anxiety," Peter whispers to himself as he reads the web page. 

_And possible Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but Peter decides to ignore that part._

That's easy. That's minor enough that he should be able to manage it himself. That way he won't need to get anyone else involved. He's Spider-Man. He handles much worse than this on a nightly basis anyways. 

He just needs to make a plan. Then carry out the plan. He spends some time scribbling down some notes on a lined piece of paper in his room, chewing on the cap of the pen the entire time.

**Peter's Anxiety Plan**

  1. _Don't let the adults know. They have enough going on._
  2. _Spend more time with my friends?_
  3. _Try not to overthink things._
  4. _Remember I'm stronger than the shadows that lurk in the dark._



It's not a complete plan. There's no medical backing behind it, but for a teenager struggling with the world around him, it's probably the best he can manage right now. 

At least he's trying. At least he's doing _something._

* * *

Peter's made plans tonight. Really exciting plans.

He's going to see a few members of the decathlon team to see a movie, a sort of reunion before the school year starts back up. Peter's best friend Ned will be there. His other friend - _and girl that he has a bit of a crush on_ \- will also be there. He's even excited to see the other team members - minus maybe Flash Thompson.

He's set dozens of reminders on his phone so that he doesn't forget the plans are happening. This evening is _really_ important to him. Not only is it part of his self created anxiety plan because he feels seeing his friends will make him worry less about the world around him, but he knows how frustrated his friends can be when he bails on them. He really doesn't want to disappoint them any more than he has to.

He's nearly done it. His anxiety is at a manageable level as he works really hard to not dwell on the what-ifs. He's just going to have a nice evening with his friends. He doesn't have to be scared anymore.

Until some cookware drops on the floor above him, slamming against his bedroom ceiling.

The clang of the metal on metal is too familiar to his trauma stricken brain. It's weapons clashing on the battlefield, the roar of warriors as they fight around him. It's the sound as alien canines rip at his skin and teeth, doing their best to rip his eyes from his skull. Peter is thrown back into the struggle between life and death.

Peter can feel the gasping in his lungs as his body is exhausted. He smells the charred earth beneath him as he hits the bomb stricken ground. He can feel the shaking in every fiber of his being.

He can't tell what's real. There's no distinction between the chaos of the battlefield and the peace within his bedroom. He can't find the safety he needs. His lungs are missing air.

There's no way he can go out like this. Peter can barely remember what year it is.

He misses his plans. 

* * *

Peter can't bear to check his phone. He knows how much it will hurt when he reads through the group chat - all the missed messages and reminders of his failure tonight. 

Instead, he throws on his mask and sneaks out of his apartment. He needs the stress relief of a good swing to distract him from the failure of his anxiety plan. He needs to get away.

With the mask on, it's completely different. He's a hero. Someone that helps people, and most definitely not someone with crippling anxiety. He can make a difference in someone else's life even when he can't seem to find the skills to manage his own very fragile life. He can be something better.

His friends are probably having a really good time at the theater, even more so without him tagging along with all his insecurities and forgetfulness. Peter can't even begin to imagine what would happen if he heard a loud noise like earlier. He could never live it down if his friends saw him spiraling in fear the way he did earlier in the day.

But he has to look. Peter needs to know his friends are safe. He stops on top of a building just long enough to pull out his phone and open the decathlon group chat.

 **MJ:** Peter?

 **Ned:** The movie is starting soon.

 **Ned:** You close?

 **MJ:** Just let us know if you're still coming.

 **MJ:** Ned's really worried.

 **Betty:** We got separated a bit. It's really busy.

 **Ned:** He's probably just running late.

 **Flash:** He does this every time. I don't know why you losers bother

 **Ned:** Because he's our friend

 **MJ:** I know you don't understand what it's like to have those...

 **Flash:** Same old Peter. You had to know he wouldn't come.

 **Ned:** What do you mean by that?

 **MJ:** Yeah. Tell the decathlon leader what you mean?

 **Flash:** All I meant is sometimes he's a bit of a spaz

 **Betty:** Sorry. It's starting now!

 **Betty:** See you next time maybe?

The boy has read enough. That was hours ago. The movie is most definitely finished now. That's guaranteed by the continuing conversation afterward, but he can't bear to read another word. He knows the messages won't get any better. His friends are trying to be supportive, but he can read the disappointment in every letter they type. 

Peter lets himself collapse onto the floor, using the building's wall behind him as a support. He's high enough off the ground that no one can see him break down from here. No one will see how weak he's being.

He's not sure how long he stays in that position with his back up against the cold wall. He loses track of the number of minutes tears are streaming down his face. He only knows the sun is beginning to set behind the square outlines of the towering skyscrapers of his city. 

Peter barely notices the figure approaching in the distance, the roars of the blasters in the Ironman suit unimportant with the way his lungs are struggling to breathe. He can only feel the way his body rocks as his hand grips at his mask and pull it from his face like he's choking.

But Mr. Stark doesn't pressure him to speak. He doesn't make him explain what's going on. There's a strong understanding between these two men after all their shared experiences. They've been through the same trauma, seen the same Titans threaten their existence, felt the same fear that comes with humanity resting on their shoulders. It's too much for any one person to handle.

The man gives Peter the space he needs. Tony only rests himself quietly against the wall a few paces down from the boy. Far enough so that Peter doesn't feel overloaded or pressured, but close enough to be there for the boy. Peter can open up whenever he's ready to.

It does take some time. The stars are sparkling through the smog of the city when Peter finally opens up about what's been going on in his mind, his fingers playing with pebbles the entire time. It's a good distraction as he confesses everything that's been going on to his mentor figure.

The night ends with a hug and a promise that things do get better.

* * *

Peter and Tony make a plan together - an actual proper medical plan that will provide him with the help he needs to start living his life without fear again. All the things that he's needed since the beginning but felt like too much of a burden to ask for. Things that Tony is more than willing to give because he sees Peter as a son, and more than anything in the world, he wants to see his son get help.

It isn't always easy accepting that you need help. It might seem easier to bottle everything up, but there are always people around you that will accept you and love you for who you are.

Peter just needed to be reminded of that.

**Peter's Ironclad Get Better Plan**

  1. _Actual therapy. Learn real coping skills._
  2. _Hot chocolate with Mr. Stark at least once a week!_
  3. _Be more patient with myself._
  4. _Talk to someone when things aren't going right._
  5. _Remember there are so many people that love you._



**Author's Note:**

> You can also follow me on tumblr too. My username is [@slothbeans](https://slothbeans.tumblr.com/)
> 
> If you like the story, please leave a review. It really helps me stay motivated and I do my best to reply to them all <3


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